As you can probably tell by some of my previous posts, I tend to be a very negative person and there are few things that actually bring me joy.
I am trying to change the way I view myself, which is nothing new as every other month I promise myself not to care what other people say and be happy with who I am. There's no need to tell you that I've never been able to keep that promise and I almost always end up wanting to hide under my bed till the world ends.
Since it's not likely that I would ever be able to do that, I've decided to take baby steps and start taking care of myself and try not to feel guilty in the process. Some of you may know how difficult it is for a mom to take time for herself without feeling like you're being selfish
Within this changing world you would be crazy not to do some minor changes yourself as well. Instead of making promises which I know I won't keep, or that are easily broken, I've been taking each day as it comes. There is obviously some planning ahead in regards of going places and stuff, but in general I've decided not to stress about the things I cannot control and do my best on the things I do control.
For instance, I cannot control traffic, but I can control how early I leave the house so I won't be late for work. I cannot control (no matter how much I want to) what comes out of my kid's mouth, but I can control how I react to it.
So I started running again. I even register to run the City's 21K race in August. Don't ask me what made me do it, because I don't know it myself. I think it was merely a desire to know if I'm capable of such a thing. I stopped going to the running group because I always felt discouraged that I couldn't run as far or as fast as most of the other runners and it was awful.
This time around I went in with a different mindset. I stop caring if the same guy passed me a hundred times. It was not about how far or how fast that guy could run, it's about how can I improve to be able to finish the race without wanting to die in the middle of it. I started creating my own goals. "This week I'll run for 30 minutes straight without stopping" "This week I'll run 5K" "Last week I ran 5K, this week I'll run 7" and so on.
And it worked!!! I may not be ready for the 21K yet, but I'm getting there. And as I said my goal is just to finish it and still be in one piece. I'm not trying to finish the 21K in hour, but maybe that could be next year's goal. There are plenty of races still left this year, we'll see.
In the meantime, I'm proud to say that yesterday I ran my fastest 10K ever... which technically it's not that accurate as it's the first time I've ever run 10K, but still. According to my Nike+ app (which I love BTW) I ran 10.17 km in 59:46 mins, with an average pace of 5'53" per km.
The greatest part was that I didn't feel as tired as I thought I was going to feel. I mean, there were times on previous runs, when I felt like I was dying and I wasn't going as fast as did yesterday. So yay me!
Once I get internet back on my phone and I can sync my runs, I'll show you some screenshots of my achievements in the past month.